IT'S FRIDAY, MY BOSS IS OUT OF TOWN AND I AM CRANKY. YOU DO THE WORK! I realize people think I'm being dramatic in my complaining about Daylight Saving time, but it KILLS ME every single year. By Friday, I am a ball of mad and fury. So you guys need to pick up the slack and call in about anything.
NOW WE CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS GOOD WISHES WHEN SOMEONE DIES Because the Offense PoPo will spring into action if you don't follow THEIR EXACT ORDERS when referring to someone in a victim class. I sure hope I didn't offend any PoPo or victim class status folks with that. What am I referring to? Gal Gadot, the nice actress who played Wonder Woman had the unmitigated temerity to wish this offense Tweet about the death of Stephen Hawking:
Rest in peace Dr. Hawking. Now you're free of any physical constraints.. Your brilliance and wisdom will be cherished forever
DOES A BAD NARRATOR RUIN A SHOW FOR YOU? I realized this as I was watching a show called How the Universe Works, which I love because they interview nerdy physicists and other scientists about all kinds of stuff about the universe. However, I found myself increasingly distracted by the narrators voice. By the end of the show I was trying to figure out how to mute the narrator and just listen to the interviews. I just looked it up to find out who the narrator was to discover that there were two different narrators. I only hate one of them so I'm just going to skip his seasons from now on. But is it just me with this? I know I'm super aware of voices in tv and movies and radio because of my job, but I'm wondering if this affects non-broadcast people too.
BEING INDUSTRIOUS DOESN'T PAY IN FRANCE. IT ACTUALLY WILL COST YOU. A French baker has been fined for working too hard. I am not sugar coating, or exaggerating, he has to pay a fine because he worked seven days a week in his small town's only bakery. Why did he do that? Because he couldn't make a living if he didn't. Read this for a list of why people think the French are lazy. Maybe this is why their GDP looks like this:
HERE IS THE VERSION OF THE BIBLE NARRATED BY ALEXANDER SCOURBY
NO, A STUDENT WASN'T SUSPENDED FOR NOT WALKING OUT So stop forwarding that story. The real story is the school told students who didn't want to walk out to congregate in a common area and this kid wanted to stay in the classroom. Seems to me he was seeking attention and got it.
GUESS WHO'S NOT ON FOOD STAMPS ANYMORE? Try 2 million Americans for starters. And that's just since the beginning of the Trump Administration. I can hardly wait to see what happens in the next three years. Assuming the Dems don't win the House back.
SHERIFF SCOTT ISRAEL IS A POLITICIAN, NOT A COP And I said as much repeatedly after watching him grandstand on television rather than take responsibility for the massive failures that lead to this tragedy. This New Yorker piece confirms my opinion based on interviews with people who work for him.
ROME IS A BIG DIRTY CITY, BUT SOME ROMANS HAVE HAD ENOUGH
MY GIRL KRISTA KAFER HAS MY BACK ON DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME! She makes an eloquent case to do away with the time change here. Mine is less eloquent and it starts and ends with "It sucks".
DEMOCRATS ARE USING HARASSMENT ALLEGATIONS TO KEEP OUR ROADS CRAPPY I get it that when someone is accused of sexual harassment they are supposed to go into exile and never return. But GOP state Sen. Randy Baumgardner has not gone quietly into exile and no action has been taken as of yet. In the meantime, while the investigation plays out, Democrats on the Transportation Committee are playing cheap political games rather than figure out how to fix our roads. Talk about the bill, people, not Baumgardner. He's going to have to pay the piper if he's guilty eventually, so just fix the damn roads.
AND NOW, THE LEAST SURPRISING DEATH OF THE YEAR A so-called "snake whisperer" dies after being bitten by...wait for it...a snake.
YES, MEN, YOU NEED TO GROOM YOUR EYEBROWS And the Wall Street Journal agrees.
THINKING ABOUT PERFECTING YOUR PING PONG TRICK SHOTS THIS WEEKEND? Then be inspired here.
AND NOW, INAUGURATION DAY BAD LIP READING Still funny a year later.